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Why Netflix’s newest film Spiderhead doesn’t work? (Minor Spoilers)

After Top Gun’s huge opening around the world, director Joseph Kosinski returns with Spiderhead. The sci fi / thriller stars Chris Hemsworth and Miles Teller and was released by Netflix yesterday. Alongside all of the film nerds out there, I was very excited for this, for one key reason – Joseph Kosinski and Miles Teller teaming up again. Unfortunately, Spiderhead is not even on the same playing field as Top Gun. Let me explain.

Pick a Genre

Spiderhead has a couple core problems that I believe if they were fixed, would make this movie very very good. The first one being the weird tone that is trying to be balanced. Writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick are amazing comedic writers (Deadpool, Zombieland). In this film, they seem intent on inserting jokes as much as possible. Moments of high drama and tension are ruined by weird lines that don’t fit and poor music choices. I truly believe that if Spiderhead kept a simple dramatic / thriller tone it would completely change this film. Lately, every Hollywood movie has this need to be “funny” and “witty” where it doesn’t even work. Creating genre pieces is good and should be done more.  

Chris Hemsworth is good in this. He is solid but not amazing and it is absolutely not his fault. He is playing a standard charismatic / manipulative antagonist. The problem is that I was never afraid of his character. He never felt like a villain and there is so much room for him to be a terrifying two-faced force of evil. Instead, they give us Chris Hemsworth just playing Thor for 2 hours. YAY…. Once again, the writers seem intent on making him funny and charming. Just imagine if in the first 30 minutes he was all fun and games and then slowly we see cracks of this evil and crazy man.

Predictability

As with Top Gun Maverick, Spiderhead is extremely predictable. With Top Gun it doesn’t matter because the action carries it but with Spiderhead, it has nothing keeping me glued to the screen.  There is some twists in this film and while I didn’t necessarily guess all of them, I didn’t care. They happen but don’t really affect the outcome of the movie. More weirder and creepier shit needs to be going on in this film. There is nothing in Spiderhead that is keeping me guessing or intrigued.

Even the shooting and colour grading of this film is generic. It has this boring look where I feel there is so much creative space to explore. The whole complex was even mundane. Kosinski constantly just cuts to these overhead shots of the facility with some pop music on top that gets very tiring very quickly. Maybe it was the studio, but I don’t understand why a simple script like this one does not have a bold and engaging style to it. Missed opportunity.

FRAZIER’S PITCH (Spoilers)

Now its time for a new segment called Frazier’s pitch. I will explain how I wish this film was done. I don’t want to sound like arsehole because I know nothing about filmmaking. This is just what I wish I saw.

First things first, Spiderhead should’ve been a strict sci fi / thriller. As a result, we could have focused more on the program and characters and less on shitty jokes. The whole Spiderhead program should have also had more suspicious activity going on so that the audience is always guessing. Essentially, more creepier clues that Jeff and Rachel slowly uncover. For example, belongings from previous patients, body parts etc etc. The reveals about Jeff and Rachel’s past should have been done earlier on as well because it had this big build up and was very underwhelming. In addition, the whole B6 drug and program needs more of a backstory. But what is most important is the tone and style. If Spiderhead had a unique look and feel to it I guarantee you critics would be raving about it. Instead of feeling like Michael Bay’s the Island, it could have been like Ex Machina. Yes exactly, a big difference.

Should you watch Spiderhead?

I very rarely say this because I enjoy most movies, but you can probably miss this one. It is so bland and formulaic that I don’t think a modern audience will leave being grateful they watched it.

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Something Completely New: The Wolf of Snow Hollow Review

The Wolf of Snow Hollow came out in 2020 (I know I’m late, don’t @ me). It is a comedy / horror / drama directed and written by up-and-coming filmmaker Jim Cummings. The film is about murders in a small town that may or may not be by a werewolf. It is not what I expected in the slightest. I have seen his debut, Thunder Road, and loved it. Thunder Road took over the indie film scene and launched Cummings into the spotlight. As a result, I thought his style and stories would be affected but they are most certainly not, let me explain:

Style, style, style

Cummings has such a unique (you guessed it) style. Going into this film, I had a pretty clear idea the tone and plot it would go for. I was so wrong. The Wolf of Snow Hollow barely dives into the Wolf. It jumps between genres, styles and pacing with no care for what your film schoolteacher told you. It has this chaotic energy that once you settle into is kind of addicting. At one point I verbally said to my self “what the fuck is happening?” But while I said this, I had the fattest smile on my face you have ever seen.

The Wolf of Snow Hollow reminds me a lot of An American Werewolf in London. Oddly enough, not for the Wolf. Instead, it is for the world building. Both movies have these very interesting and unique settings. The characters and environment is so engaging because its not afraid to simply feel like a movie. Essentially, both films don’t strive for realism. They understand the absurdity of the concepts and heavily lean into them. As a result, the audience is more inclined to accept how batshit crazy these worlds are.

Indie Acting

I think a big problem with indie filmmaking is finding talented actors. Not necessarily because of the budget but simply the resources to find people who suit the part. No one in this film is terrible (I genuinely mean that). It’s just that some of the actors don’t really suit the parts. In particular, Robert Foster and Jimmy Tatro. These two are very very good actors. BUT they are kind of built for a specific part. Jimmy for the jock / idiot guy and Robert for a moody / grumpy old man. Now these characters are similar to that but just slightly off. I hate typecasting but it just felt like a weird decision by Cummings. Maybe he wanted to subvert expectations.

Scary or Funny?

The Wolf of Snow Hollow jumps constantly between horror, comedy, and drama. However, it doesn’t really dive into any of these for too long. Essentially, Cummings clearly doesn’t want this to just be one genre of filmmaking. I think this is something that applies to all of his work, and we will see a lot more of as he grows in Hollywood. While this style of writing is not necessarily for me, it is appealing to watch as you are constantly kept on your toes and there is never a dull moment.

The Ending (Spoilers)

Spoilers!! The ending of this film was interesting. It did get me, and I didn’t expect it, but didn’t really feel satisfying. I think this is because there wasn’t enough clues for it or honestly focus on the plot. If this was a dark crime thriller where there’s two detectives searching for a killer who could be a werewolf, this ending would bang. But since this film doesn’t focus much on the crime aspect, it just feels a little underwhelming.

Ultimately, every little complaint I had is simply a consequence of someone with a very specific creative vision. I have so much respect for Jim Cummings because he doesn’t give a fuck what modern audiences, critics, or the box office think. He simply sticks to his path and ignores the rest. Thereby, there is going to be things I don’t enjoy or a lot of audiences like. But I would rather see a real vision that is refreshing than another Hollywood remake.

Should you watch it??

Yes definitely. Just go in expecting something very different and you wont be disappointed.

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Is Top Gun Maverick overrated?

I watched the first Top Gun movie around 4 months ago. Let’s just say I was disappointed. That first movie has not aged well in the slightest. That 80s nostalgia just doesn’t work for someone who was born in the 21st Century. So going into the sequel, I truly did not give a fuck. My bet was that it would be a blockbuster flop that no one saw. I could not have been more wrong. This film has smashed it both critically and commercially. But is it actually worth the hype? Absolutely, let me explain.

The flying

The flying scenes in Top Gun Maverick is some of the most tense and engaging action I have ever seen. People in my audience were literally on the edge of their seat, grabbing the arm rests for support. One woman was so invested she would jump up and scream every time they almost died. I think there is a very specific reason for this – how real it all feels. Every actor is up there in one of those jets. While they are acting, the performance instantly feels more genuine as there is an element of danger. A good example is Mr Cruise and his stunts. Because you know there real and not CGI you are engaged in the shot.

Joseph Kosinski also does an incredible job at making sure the audience knows what’s happening. What I mean by this is we are instantly shown the mission, the time, and the threats. This is so effective because the audience are placed in the same cock pit as the characters. Kosinski makes you feel the danger of this mission by building it up throughout the whole film. We are constantly shown how impossible it is and then he just keeps adding more problems. From the beginning of the film, that final mission always like this harrowing and daunting task that we as the audience are a part of.

The Acting

You can’t talk about Top Gun without talking about the Top Gun, Mr Thomas Cruise line. Tom Cruise has not acted in a film since 2018 (Mission Impossible). He basically only acts in movies he has complete control over and honestly no complaints here. I think Mr Cruise knows exactly what works for him in this stage of his career. There are specific roles he truly cares about and everything else can fuck off and all. In Maverick, he absolutely smashes it. He has this amazing charismatic cockiness that could be acting or just him being himself. Tomothy just has this ability to make things feel so intense and extreme. He builds up the stakes so much just through a simple stare.

Everyone in this movie is really good. Miles Teller and Glenn Powell especially. Teller doesn’t really speak much but shines in the dramatic moments. Once again, that subtle arrogance of his performance is very appealing. Even the way he walks into a room and looks at his peers. Powell on the other hand, takes the arrogance much further. I know you were meant to hate him but honestly, I never really did. He was this perfect balance between the antagonist but also someone you might just actually know. Essentially his performance never felt too over the top as a villain.

What’s wrong with Top Gun?

Before you start attacking me, there isn’t much wrong with Top Gun Maverick. There is just two little things that bugged me. Firstly, the whole Jennifer Connelly plot. It wasn’t bad it was just kind of forced. I know he needs a love interest but to me Maverick makes more sense as a loner who is completely focused on the NAVY and nothing else. But obviously Hollywood will never do that. Secondly, the ADR feels a little off. This isn’t anyone’s fault cause obviously the actors can’t actually talk up in the jets. But it never feels like they are really speaking to each other up there. Especially in dramatic scenes, they have some line deliveries that are a little rough around the edges.

A perfect reinvention

As every film nerd across the globe is saying right now, Top Gun Maverick is a perfect sequel. Joseph Kosinski, the film’s director, doesn’t just repeat the first one and change it a little bit. Instead, he is clearly inspired by the original but still has his own creative vision. He takes elements from Tony Scott but adds his own eye – especially to the flying scenes. The music, football scene, characters all reflect the original but aren’t just carbon copies.

I will stop bagging on the first one after this trust me. I may be triggering a lot of alpha males above 40 out there but honestly Top Gun 1986 is just not that good. If you look back on it considering the time period, sure its solid. But looking back from 2022, it is tonally weird, sweaty, full of overbearing masculinity, written poorly and kind of boring. Despite this, Joseph Kosinski has managed to find that core that people do love. The tense action, the banter, the characters. He brings all these parts together and adds so much more for ultimately, a much better film.

Ultimately, I just have so much respect for this film. In the age where everything has to be superheroes with a ridiculous amount of CGI, it is so refreshing to see something real and practical. I truly believe that this film will affect action movies for the next 5 years. Hollywood will now start returning to a more practical approach. Top Gun Maverick may be one of the best action movies ever made and it comes down to a directors vision, an incredible crew and amazing practical work.

SHOULD YOU GO TO THE CINEMAS TO SEE THIS?

DEFINITELY. This movie is built for the cinemas, its sound design and scale are perfect for the big screen.

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Go see this film before its too late!

Everything everywhere all at once. Wow. What a fucking movie. I went in with very high expectations for this film and I was still blown away. Not even about the absurd concepts but simply the writing and the characters. It is one of those movies that could genuinely change your perspective on life, and definitely did for me.

I am going to keep this extremely short for two reasons. Firstly, I don’t want to spoil anything (don’t even watch the trailers for this) and secondly, I only have one major point. Go see this film in a cinema near you. I know its still playing at certain cinemas and trust me, it is worth it. It is one of those films that are built for the cinematic experience. Not only for the spectacle of seeing these amazing visuals on screen but also for the audience experience, let me explain…

For me, seeing a film in cinema is amazing for one specific reason – the audience’s reaction. Seeing people laugh, shit themselves or cry is one of the best bits of going to the movies. It is why I want to be a filmmaker and why I love cinema so much. Everything everywhere all at once is built for this. It has everything I just said and more. Everyone in my cinema was audibly shocked at some of the moments in this film and that is truly incredible. They went from laughing to crying to simply stunned with the absurd concepts the writers created. Trust me, go see it in the biggest cinema you can.

I have one more point to make as to why film goers should go see this movie and as usual, it comes back to Marvel. This point has been made a lot and honestly better then me by some people but I will still give it a crack (check out Karsten Runquist video here). Dr Strange 2 recently came out and it filled up cinemas everywhere. For some cinemas, that is all they played. Everything everywhere all at once is a very similar movie. They both dive into the multiverse and also the relationship between a mother and their children. EEAAO is by far a better film. Apologies to Sam Raimi, but it is not even in the same league. It has better characters, goes way weirder with the concepts, has better writing, action, dialogue, everything except the horror is better. And yet EEAAO was barely played in cinemas and Dr Strange took them over. I am not nieve. I know its Marvel verses an indie film – I get that but if people who love cinema are reading this, I really believe they should go support it. Otherwise, all we are going to see on the big screen is Disney, reboots and remakes. Seeing this film in a cinema is supporting original stories and new ideas. Trust me, go see this film.

Amazing Video on what I was talking about

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Why Dr Strange is Important for Marvel – Review (Minor Spoilers)

Dr Strange and the Multiverse of Madness is finally here. Going into this film, I had a lot of expectations and ideas about what would happen and how it would feel. I could not have been more wrong. It is undoubtedly the weirdest Marvel movie I have ever seen, and that’s exactly why it is so important. Let me explain:

Sam Raimi

Dr Strange is a Sam Raimi film (director of Evil Dead, Spidermans). It is not an MCU or Kevin Fiege production, it is a Raimi film at its heart. That all comes down to the film’s horror. There is some incredible sequences in this film that are actually scary (a very big challenge for a PG-13 movie). How he uses the sound design is mmmmwah, a chef’s kiss. It will go so quiet in the cinema you can hear people shuffling uncomfortably, building up for that perfect jump scare. He even manages to sneak in demons and ghouls that feel eerily similar to the Evil Dead.

This is the weirdest Sam Raimi film. There are sequences in this film that I cannot believe Kevin Fiege allowed to happen. In my head this is what happened:

Sam:

I want to have them fighting a giant intergalactic octopus to start the film.

Kevin:

No fuckhead, this is the MCU not Evil Dead.

Sam:

Mmmm fine…

10 Months Later…

Sam:

I want reshoots or I will do an Edgar and dip.

Kevin:

Fuck it, do whatever you want

I have so much respect for the MCU and Mr Fiege for letting Sam’s vision come to life. This film completely contrasts all other MCU projects. The concepts and fight sequences in Dr Strange are unlike any movie I have ever seen. Even the colour grading is bright and colourful compared to the grey bullshit of other Marvel Movies. I pray that this what his vision from the beginning and was not fucked over by producers.

Benedict Cumberbatch as Dr. Stephen Strange in Marvel Studios’ DOCTOR STRANGE IN THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS. Photo courtesy of Marvel Studios. ©Marvel Studios 2022. All Rights Reserved.

The Acting

Elizabeth Olsen steals the show. While I admit, she is given the most to work with, every scene she is in Wanda takes over. She may also be Marvel’s best villain. In all of the MCU, Wanda is the first one to finally be scary. The way Elizabeth moves her eyes and changes her voice and breathing shows her anger so clearly. How Sam makes her enter rooms shows Wanda not as a person but almost this possessed demon. Through this, her character reminds me so much of Regan in the exorcist and Carrie – two iconic villains. One slight problem with her performance (that has bugged me for years) is the accent. As with all her other films, it kind of dips in and out. But maybe that’s on purpose because she is switching between personalities.

Benedict Cumberbatch is solid. Whenever he goes evil it shows how good of an actor he truly is. Apart from that, I don’t think the script gives him much to work with. Even in dramatic scenes, his performance feels cut down and rushed. Benedict Wong is amazing as ever. He has so much charisma on screen. Wong is just funny in such a natural way that never feels forced unlike some other actors.

Xochtil Gomez performance is interesting. For the majority of this film, she is simply screaming and running around scared. When she isn’t, she is able to shine in dramatic moments. But there is very little of this. The script does her no favours. For some reason, everyone in the MCU has to be funny. This actress is not funny at all and yet they are trying to make her witty like Spiderman. I do think she is a good actress, just not good for this role.        

The Writing

This brings me onto my next point. The writing of this film is its biggest let down. Firstly, the plot is simple yet feels so unnecessarily convoluted. There are so many new rules and elements introduced that are clearly created just so the writers could get from point A to B. Also, the one liners in this film are fucking horrible. Now here is where I believe Sam Raimi may have had some influence. He clearly loves corny comic book tropes. Thereby, I think he told them to say this on the day and then in the edit snuck them in.  They are just so cringey and forced, even the audience was laughing at them.

Dr Strange 2 is an exposition dump fest. Every line in this film feels like it’s just telling the audience exactly what is happening. The writers do not respect the audience in anyway whatsoever. There is one scene where someone is very clearly being killed and the writers have them say ‘You’re killing me.” So many lines in this film are just unnecessary. Let the audience figure it out themselves and not treat them like idiots.

Two things the writers did well in this film is the pacing and the lack of cameos. This film has a breakneck speed. It is constantly moving and never slows down. While some may hate this, I think it serves the idea of madness and chaotic energy better. Also, the film does not go over the top with cameos. It has a few surprising ones, but they don’t take away from the main characters.

So why is Dr Strange 2 so important? Well, I think this is what Marvel has to become to survive. Less bland shit like Eternals, Shang Chi and Black Widow, and more weirder films where directors have complete control over their vision. And Kevin Fiege knows this. The next few Marvel films look like the director has complete power. Moon Knight and Dr Strange is the direction Marvel needs to move. Audiences will definitely get sick of the same old origin stories and a big laser battle at the end.

Should you see it in cinemas?

Yes absolutely.

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The Lost City: Review (Minor Spoilers)

The Lost City is finally here. Now just to clarify, I will not be reviewing the Lost City of Z or Dorah and the Lost City of Gold. These “masterpieces” will stay quiet for now. Instead, I will be diving into the newest blockbuster comedy – The Lost City.

Before I started writing this, I was sitting there thinking what the fuck do I talk about. That’s for one simple reason – this movie is very “straight down the line.” What I mean by that is that it is an extremely formulaic and simple Hollywood movie. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad but its just that and nothing more. There is so much wasted potential – let me explain.

The Writing

If you haven’t watched the trailer yet I would seriously recommend you skip it. This movie is everything you see in the trailer and nothing more. Call it Sony because they hide absolutely nothing. But even if you haven’t watched it, you could guess exactly what is going to happen. There is no twists, no reveals, no interesting character arcs. This plot is very simple, and it almost worked – except for one key problem.

The movie is not funny. Overall, it has some solid laughs (all of which are shown in the trailer) but apart from that it is pretty flat. I have a theory that this film is filled with a lot of         improv. Maybe I am completely off the mark, but it always feels like the camera is just placed on Channing Tatum and Sandra Bullock and they are told to just be funny. Now Channing Tatum is a very good comic actor, but Sandra Bullock is not, and I think that’s why it doesn’t work. He is trying to carry this movie, but he has no one to bounce off like in 21 Jump Street. His lines are good, he just has no one to keep it moving like Jonah Hill.

The biggest writing fuck up in this film is the location. For what feels like half the film, it is just Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum in a jungle. I do not understand why they weren’t exploring caves, going underground, or solving puzzles. Now I realised that this was because Sandra is keeping it all a secret from Mr Tatum. But this also made no sense. They should have made her tell him straight away and then have the two exploring ancient puzzles and booby traps like in Indiana Jones, The Mummy or even Moon Knight. Imagine how much more entertaining and funnier this could have been. It would have led to so many more and better-quality jokes.

The Acting

As I previously said, Channing Tatum carries this film. He brings such a charismatic energy to this movie that would have been dead in the water if it wasn’t for him. Not only for his comedic performance but also the dramatic elements. He really sells these heartfelt moments and adds layers to a pretty standard comedic character.

Sandra Bullock is shooting about 30%. She doesn’t seem to care or want to go for it in any way. Maybe its just her plastic surgery but she genuinely doesn’t do much with the comedic moments or even the dramatic ones. I truly believe she was given the role because they knew it would draw in 50-year-old woman.

Daniel Radcliffe is solid. I do like how he progressively gets more and more insane until he is just a ball of anger and fury. He often over acts but it seems to work for the most part. Realistically, he is just playing the same character as Now You See me.

Brad Pitt however is incredible. He has some great action scenes that were almost definitely all stunt double. Nevertheless, he really steals the spotlight for the short amount of time he is on the screen. He is funny without trying and as usual, very charismatic. As you would expect, he is introduced to the film by eating. Very nice.

Honestly, there is not much else I have left to say about the Lost City. It is ultimately a good film that could have been great with funnier actors and better writing. Instead, it is a simple and straight down the line blockbuster comedy that focuses on star power instead of comic writing.

Should you see it?
Yes definitely. This movie is perfect to go the movies and watch something easy that doesn’t require to much (or any) brain power).

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The Adam Project Review – Minor Spoilers

As with most people, I recently watched the Adam Project over the weekend. Directed by Shawn Levy, the film stars Ryan Reynolds, Mark Ruffalo and Jennifer Garner. It is a time travelling adventure where Ryan’s character, Adam Reed, crashes in 2022. He then has to fix the future by fixing the past. Anyway, enough with the recap shit, lets dive into the film.

For some reason as I was watching this film, I thought it would be perfect to do a SWOT analysis of. So if you ever did a business subject, this is for you.

Strengths

This film is fucking entertaining. I can safely say I was never bored watching this and was on board from the get-go. I think this is down to a few key factors. Firstly, the pacing. The Adam Project is paced extremely well. The 30 writers and Shawn Levy keep you locked in the entire time. As a great man once said, it feels like a theme park ride. And I think this is a good thing. Similar to Levy’s other work, it is designed for children. It supposed to be breakneck speed with little breathing room. As a result, it doesn’t give you time to reflect on some of plot holes.

The film also has Ryan Reynolds. He truly has to be one of the biggest draw cards in the box office right now. If you simply slap his face on any project people are going to watch it (Red Notice, I am looking at you). But in this he feels a little different. As expected, Ryan is playing the same character as usual however he takes the emotional scenes much further. Maybe it’s because I have only seen his big performances, but he is really going for it in those deeper moments. It adds a level of realism that I never really see in his characters in films like Free Guy, Deadpool and most of his other work. Also, his whole character is very appealing. I love how he has become the complete opposite to his younger self and even his father. Every little detail shows how much he wanted to be different from his Dad.

Building on from this, the movie has some solid dramatic moments. Any scenes between young Adam and his parents are pretty brutal and also Ryan and his wife. But the key theme that really hit me was the regret Adam has towards his parents. Maybe its just a personal thing, but this is such a depressing and realistic portrayal of grief. Adam has all this unexpressed love for his father – who passed – and also his mother. Its so simple yet grounds the story perfectly.

The Adam Project also looks like a real movie. By that I mean it doesn’t look like your standard shitty Netflix Film. I even like its over stylised and bright coloured look. Also, the rest of the cast smashes it. Especially Mark Ruffalo. He is just so charismatic in what ever he does.

Weaknesses

Holy fucking shit, whose idea was it allow that deep fake garbage in the film. It is so distracting and shitty looking that it completely removed me from the scene. Even worse, it took me away from what could’ve been a great villain. Catherine Keener is such an excellent actress, and she is completely wasted in this film. We see her for about three scenes and when we do, she is overshadowed by a Madam Tussauds Wax Figure of her. JUST USE MAKEUP!

I also thought the writing of Mark Ruffalo’s character was a bit whack. Maybe I am just dumb, but I was very confused if he was supposed to be a shit dad or a good one. They made him out to seem like he neglected Adam but to me he seemed like just a normal Dad who is working hard.

There is one line in this film that triggered me to my core. I mean that literally. As young Adam lands in the final acts, he says the words ‘Superhero Landing.” Now obviously, this is a direct call to Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool. They did it in Free Guy as well with the captain America shield and lightsabres. I HATE THIS SHIT. Its so forced and has no relevance in this world. Like why would a young Adam say “superhero landing” in this film? Producers do this shit because they think its what nerds like. Instead, it is completely forced and just made me realise that this is still at Hollywood blockbuster at its heart.

Opportunities

For this segment, I want to talk about Shawn Levy and the announcement he is directing Deadpool 3. Now I think a lot of his work is solid. Free guy is very average, but I have always liked films like Reel Steel and the Night at the Museums, even if they don’t appeal to critics. After looking at his IMDB, I realised that through the majority of his work, Levy loves looking at everything through a child’s eyes. Similar to Spielberg, he always has core themes about parents and their kids. Which for the most part seems to work for him (it definitely did in the Adam Project.) However, I don’t know if this will apply to Deadpool 3. Maybe they will bring back Julian Dennison as Rusty or look at Deadpool’s childhood? Honestly, I would just love for him to bring his take to it. Not try and be like the first two films but instead follow his own path.

Threats

Honestly the biggest threat is maybe to Ryan Reynolds. He is now literally playing himself no matter what role he is in. It gets very distracting. Personally, whenever I watch a movie of his I do not view his character as a real person. Instead, it is simply just Ryan on screen. Obviously, his career is his decision, but I would love to see him diversify more like he used to.

So should you watch it tonight?

Yeah absolutely. I think this movie definitely appeals to the “majority” of film viewers. It is not a challenging watch and very uplifting and funny.

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The Euphoria Rant  

Euphoria has been talked about to death. And here I am, about to write another article on this insanely popular TV show. And why? Because it’s a perfect TV show to talk about. It is designed stir up as much controversy and discussion as possible. It’s designed to split people. So lets dive in.

SEASON 1

Now I started watching this Show when season 2 had finish so my experience was very different to other people. I watched the show very spaced out over 2 months, mainly because I found it so boring. But there were a couple things that really stood out to me about season 1. The opening of each episode is a perfect way to start a show. It launches you into this world instantly and makes you care about each of these characters in 12 minutes. People are not appreciative of how hard that is to do. For all his faults, Sam Levinson smashes that opening. To me, it reminds of me of the Good Fellas opening – something I know has been done 1000 times before. But essentially, its so effective because it launches you into their lives instantly. You know these characters like a close friend in a way that can take some shows 4 seasons to crack. Big tick from me.

I also think the acting in this show is amazing. A standout for me is Jacob Elordi as Nate Jacobs – and that’s not just because he is from Brisbane. He plays a psychopath perfectly. That calm quiet demeanour with fits of rage is horrifying. As a great villain does, he really makes you hate him. The comparison is always how Delorse Umbridge is he out of 10? Nate Jacobs is a solid 8. He even makes some of the shitty writing sound less shitty. Everyone else is very good as well, no one stands out in a bad way. I do feel sorry for how much crying Sydney Sweenie has to do… every single scene, all the time.

Speaking of cast, the side characters are what make this show good. Personally, I just didn’t care about Rue. Maybe I’m heartless or biased because I haven’t experienced these things, but her story was just so fucking boring. It feels like everything that happens with her character takes place in the first two episodes, and then its just on repeat for the rest of the season. Her story with Jules is good and I like the “will they won’t they get together” aspect (an easy way to keep fans watching) but after about episode 4 I just didn’t care for either of them. Once again, maybe I am an asshole but their relationship just feels dry and yet also over the top. Also, they take up way too much screen time when you have characters like Fez, Chris, Kat and Nate carrying this show. There stories are the only part of the show that kept me watching. Every scene with Rue just felt like a distraction from this amazing ensemble.   

SEASON 2

I know it’s not controversial but hey guess what, season 2 is absolute garbage. I hate shitting on movies and tv because I know how hard people work, but season 2, fuck me what a miss. Nevertheless, the show grabbed me straight away. With Fezco and Cal’s story it hooks you right in. They are honestly the two best character openings of the whole show and the highlight of all of season 2. In particular Cal. He is such an interesting and engaging character that I am so glad they explored more.  Obviously, Fez is top tier. He is charismatic in such a natural way, and I think that’s because he just isn’t acting. I mean seriously this man is the exact same in real life.

So where does this season go wrong? I think there are two reasons this second season is such a flop.

Number one, Sam Levinson had not idea where to go with this show. If someone can honestly watch this season and tell me he knew where to take it I will give you a sticker. This season is completely lost. We are exploring things we have seen completed in the first season. We are watching scenes on repeat – episode after episode. We are spending time with none of the engaging character from the first season. We are dragging simple stories out just to fill up episodes. We are forcing over the top soap opera drama every single second. Just imagine for one second that this show ended on season one. Think of how effective it would be, how critically acclaimed Sam would be. Just like Fleabag, and every great British show, if you don’t have anything better to follow up with MAYBE JUST STOP.

Number 2, the editing. This point has been talked to death, so I will just briefly mention it. In this season, there is a captivating scene where Rue does a eulogy for her fathers’ death. Her performance is great, the writing (of this scene) is good, and it looks incredible. But you know what’s not so incredible? SEEING THIS SAME SCENE 5 TIMES ACROSS THE SEASON. I have now idea what Sam Levinson was going for but it was not effective. It was so predictable that I  knew the next words coming out of her mouth. It felt like Levinson watched Christopher Nolan for the first time and wanted to experiment with some time shit. No tick from me.

Also, this season dives way to much into Lexi Howard. I know she was a big hit in the first season and appealing but in the second she’s the writing of her character is weird. She has this stupid naivety to her about the play that makes no sense. Hear me out, this character is supposed to be extremely clever and yet she does realise this play is going to offend people? WHAT???

The play is also just a complete mess. How the fuck did Sammy think it was a good idea to spend an ENTIRE EPISODE about a play recapping a season we have witnessed. It is just showing us scenes we have already seen but done worse? If it was me, I would have had the play happen completely off screen. Thereby, you see the devastation it causes and the audience kind of creates this monstrosity in their heads.  Almost like reading a book. Maybe in the after-credit scene you release a 20minute special that shows the whole play, like in Hawkeye. But hey, that’s just me.

Final Thoughts.

Before I wrap up, I need to talk about the cinematography and lighting. It is… flashy. Its over the top and distracting but still kind of cool. Some scenes pull you out of the drama because of how unrealistic it looks. Honestly there’s only one way to describe it, a music video. The whole show looks like a music video and ultimately it comes down to whether you like that style or not. For me, not so much.  Also, the music is very good. Not my taste but clearly effective as it appeals to a younger audience (which is what this whole show is trying to do ((be as cool and edgy as possible)).

So the final question…

SHOULD YOU WATCH EUPHORIA INSTEAD OF REWATCHING THE OFFICE?

Maybe just the first season, then jump right back into that sweet sweet comfort show.

Categories
Film Reviews

Uncharted Movie Review

WARNING – THE FOLLOWING IS OPINION AN NOTHING MORE. IF YOU DON’T AGREE THAT IS COMPLETELY ACCEPTABLE.

I honestly was not going to go to the cinema and watch this film. While I was very hyped when I first heard about the pitch, the trailers removed all my hope – another garbage Hollywood project. Therefore, I feel since there is very little love and passion behind this, I am legally obligated to shit on it. Sorry not sorry.

The Characters

One of the biggest problems with the modern blockbuster is the writing of the characters versus the plot. (This is something that boils my blood so stay with my rant for just once second). Basically, in films like this and most Marvel movies the writers prioritise plot over character. In Uncharted it was screaming at me. I have a theory that the writers knew they wanted these big action set pieces and did anything to make it happen. Honestly its just opinion, but to me a movie is far more attractive when the characters drive the story. I know this is hard in an action film but just let it happen a bit more naturally. Let the characters force the plot.

I am not finished yet.

I just didn’t care about any of these knobs on the screen and I can’t imagine anyone else either. Even Nathan Drake. For me this is truly a madness. The writers literally stole the core concepts of this amazing and deep character and still couldn’t get it right. They took his character arc from the fourth game and completely botched it.  An incredible game and story ultimately wasted on this shit.

The Actors

Everyone in this was extremely average. Sorry Tom Holland stans, please don’t hurt me. But realistically when an actor comes out before the release of a movie trashing his performance and the film, you know it’s a not a good sign. Nevertheless, Tom Holland is like Chris Paul – a pure fundamentalist. He is very very good at doing the basics. His surprised / shocked face (clearly the reason he got the role of Peter Parker) is solid. And whenever he has an emotional scene he absolutely smashes it. But ultimately, I just feel he is kind of doing the same thing he always does.

Mark Whalberg’s performance was odd. I’m not sure if it was him or the writing, but every joke he told just did not land at all. He wasn’t funny and truthfully was anything like the Sully we see in the games.

Sophia Taylor as Chloe Frazer was interesting. I wasn’t sure if she was going for an Australian accent. If she was I am not going to shit on it. That’s because I honestly think it is one of the hardest accents to get down. I haven’t really ever seen a non-Australian actor do it right. I think its cause its barely an accent, more just a slur and drawl of mumbled words. So Goodluck future actors.

What it got Right

Don’t get me wrong, I liked a lot of this movie. The adventure and puzzles were all very good. While it wasn’t spot on, the Indian Jones vibe was definitely there. In particular, I love how films like this merge in the history fairly effortlessly. In addition, the action was visually engaging. Apart from some dodgy effects, it was entertaining to watch on screen.

The music

This shit truly rattled me. When there is a perfect, iconic and nostalgic theme waiting to be used WHY NOT FUCKING USE IT. I was honestly waiting for it to be appear the entire film and guess what, it doesn’t. Like the rest of this film it just doesn’t seem to give a shit about the games. Yeah they have the occasional reference to the climbing or the voice actor but its just not the same.

Nothing in this film feels like the Uncharted Games. It just feels like another movie Hollywood slaps a famous name over for a quick cash grab. If you told me this was a National Treasure prequel or Indian Jones prequel, I would fully accept it. Its ultimately just bland and tries to be nothing more then that. Its very frustrating when the games are so incredible and have so amazing stories and characters. Maybe it just doesn’t translate to film, who knows.

Should you go to the movies to see it?

Nah, wait for the streaming release.

Categories
Uncategorized

Why did the King’s Man did not slap?

SPOILERSSSSSSS

I think Mathew Vaughn is truly an incredible director. His pacing and style is so unique and refreshing when compared to other blockbusters. If you don’t know his other work Mathew has directed Kick Ass, X Men First Class, The Kingsman movies and most importantly, StarDust (If you haven’t seen this film do yourself a favour). Not to mention, his production achievements of Lock Stock, Eddie the Eagle and Rocketman. You could say my expectations were high going into this. Apart from the second Kingsman, I have loved all his films. But before I start, I am not just going to shit on this film – I hate reviews that do that. Plus, I have never made a film and know fuck all about it. Plus plus, I didn’t hate it at all, I just feel like there was just something missing. So therefore, I am going to do a multilayered insult sandwich.

Con

This movie takes way to long to get going. The first 30-40 minutes feel so weird and slow paced. Its like when a teacher or instructor spends 20 minutes explaining a game when all you want to do is fucking start the game. I was watching it thinking, when is this going to get moving, and honestly it didn’t really. The pacing stays in this kind of slow and drawn-out process. When the movie finished, I sat there thinking, why is the first 1/3 not just cut.

The whole film is spread out over the entirety of WW1. A very odd choice. It makes the audience feel like the movie has no direction. Instead of focusing on a specific aspect, it tries to squish 4 years into 2 hours.

PRO

The action scenes in this movie are genuinely amazing. Like with all of Vaughn’s work, they have this unique dance to them. You can feel the choreography but it’s still so enthralling to watch. There are three in particular that really stand out to me.

  1. The fight against Rasputin
  2. Silent War Battle
  3. Final Battle

But the problem is, there is not enough. In a 2 hour an 10 minute action film there is barely any action. When its there, its amazing but…

Bruh

CON

I think my biggest issue with this film is what its going for. I have a theory that Vaughn wanted to make this a serious war drama. To me, that’s just stupid. What works about the first two Kingsman is how over the top and bat shit crazy they are. The gore, the action, the writing. All of it shows this exaggerated version of James Bond. It essentially works because audiences are sick of the same old James Bond. I get that he wants to try something new but don’t do it with a franchise people already have expectations for.

PRO

The performances in this film are very good. Ralph (Rafe) Fiennes is exceptional, as usual. In particular, the moments of real drama when he loses loved ones shows how good of an actor he really is. He always does this really unique and weird yelling with his voice that I really love. (Think of Avadacadabra in Harry Potter).

I think the George Mckay look alike (known as Harris Dickinson) is good as well. It felt believable when he was showing the pure fear of being in battle. Also, the young ignorance and naivety of a teenage boy was spot on.

Rhys Ifans as Rasputin stole the show. I know it was over the top but I like when actors just go for it. Its engaging when they don’t hold back and give their interpretation and perspective of the character. He had this perfect mix of both menace and stupidity – a precise summary of Rasputin.

Rhys Ifans as Rasputin in 20th Century Studios’ THE KING’S MAN. Photo credit: Peter Mountain. © 2020 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. All Rights Reserved.

Everyone else was good. #moredjimonhounsou 

Con

On the other side of this, is SOME of the writing. There is a huge focus on the dynamic between the father and son. Desperately wanting to go to the war, the Duke repeatedly denies Conrad in fear of him dying. Its smart and interesting but it happens like 5 times. It felt I was watching the same scene on repeat. Conrad says he is joining the war, the duke says no and gives him a lecture then Conrad comes to an understanding. It’s just repetitive and becomes monotonous.

Pro

BIG SPOILER

When Conrad was shot, I was sitting there like what the fuck. It completely got off me off guard – something that is getting harder to do in films. A shocking death in a movies is very hard to do as audiences constantly see it coming. However, this one was out of nowhere and completely heartbreaking. He wasn’t even killed by enemy which adds this sense of regret of wasted life to the audience.

It also served a purpose. Without the death of his son, it would not make sense why the Duke would start up the Kingsmen. Good writing.

The Final Con

There is something included at the end of this film that blew my mind – in the worst possible way. When the Duke meets the big villain at the end, there is a very interesting and extremely obvious plot twist. The villain is the creepy evil dude in the background. SURPRISE SURPRISE. I don’t understand why Vaugh did this. It doesn’t add anything, it is not surprising, it literally has no effect whatsoever on the film. It feels exactly like a Scooby Doo reveal at the end of an episode. Glaringly obvious and equally pointless.